I just finished an EMDR session with a client. Her Phase 5 was so cool.
She has struggled with anxiety her whole life, and has always been at odds with it. She’s an I don’t matter person and we were targeting an astronomical electric bill (she shares an account with her family, they are typically late with their payments and just expect her to take care of it). She shifts and says, “It’s okay that I don’t matter there [with them] because I know I matter here [in my home].” We go to install the positive and she gets this image of her holding a jacket above her head. I had her go with that. She noticed she could take a deep breath and just feel. The positive shift was so evident in her face and body. We closed the session. She began telling me more about the series of images she had:
She says she used to bring this jacket to cover her head and hide herself. Her head would be hiding in this jacket of anxiety. Then the jacket became a blanket and it covered her body, not to hide, but to surround her in peace. I said, “it sounds like your anxiety is no longer your adversary but your ally.” She immediately began crying and said, “Yes, my anxiety is now my friend named Peace. I am no longer fearful of it. It’s just been trying to tell me to matter all this time.” Pretty amazing!
My mentor, Dr. Dobo, often said, “You want your unconscious to be your ally, not your adversary.” This really resonated with me because I realized it was how I preferred to practice therapy, but now had words for what I was trying to achieve with my clients. I would wonder about the behaviors, or symptoms, and this wonderment developed insight. From this insight, along with my client, we were able to develop plan that would actually work for them to help them achieve their goals. EMDR with the AIP model widened my lens of how I understood trauma, and really, any adverse symptom or behavior.
I was able to help my client understand her anxiety and how it could actually help her in her life. Her remarkable work helped her greet anxiety as her friend. She desperately tried to get rid of her anxiety, but she will safeguard her Peace. She used to view her anxiety as her adversary, but now she has formed an alliance with it.
