I hear this a lot, “My client intellectualizes everything. They want to talk and overanalyze. They’re not totally resisting, but are a little skeptical, and are more focused on figuring everything out instead of just noticing.”
Boy, our client sure do keep us on our toes, don’t they? If intellectualizers want to know how EMDR works I have to be very careful because I can get pulled into a nerdy conversation about EMDR any day. Providing psychoeducation is very good, and definitely necessary in Phase 1 where you tell the client about EMDR. I’m happy to answer questions, provide resources, and encourage clients do their own research as well. I know they are going to find evidence based studies, and that EMDR works and will help them. It also opens the doorway for me to share about Dr. Dobo’s Transformational Stages and how the client will learn to trust their unconscious-which, I think, will only increase their overall autonomy.
So, what do you do with these intellectual clients? I remind them that they are already very good at thinking things through. What kind of strategies do they employ when they are problem solving? Do they constantly think about the problem? Do they place it in the back of their brain allowing the problem to marinate and come back to it later? Do they consult? Do they take a break and come again later? Be curious. What’s their thought process?
My latest fascination is the New York Times game, Strands. I get such a joy out of reading the theme and simply staring at the letters as I allow the theme to play in my mind. Words jump out at me and I begin making strands of them. Sometimes they are part of the puzzle, theme words, and sometimes they are extras that I find. I take time to focus on the corners knowing those will be the easiest words to identify. Every so often I’ll allow my eyes to sweep the entire puzzle and see if I spot any words. One time, I had a found three theme words, and figured out the Spangram before I actually found it on the board. I was absolutely giddy. Sometimes, the Spangram is the last strand I find. A couple times, it was the first. Sometimes I complete the puzzle within minutes of starting it. Sometimes I need to come back to it throughout the day. How I complete the puzzle doesn’t matter. There is no right way to complete the puzzle. The point is, simply, to complete the puzzle: find all the theme words and the Spangram. Job well done.
Sometimes our clients need the permission to just complete the puzzle. It’s okay if it takes time to complete. They don’t have to know all the answers right away. There is also no right way of doing EMDR. I have yet to find two brains that process exactly the same. So however they process is the right way. Remind them when they are asked what they’re noticing it may not be an image, it may be a thought, or emotion, or body sensation. If they don’t understand something have them go with that. Remind them that what they are noticing may not be logical. It may be symbolic. Sitting with the unknown is like sitting with a puzzle, finding peace in not knowing the answer, and just allowing space for the answer to unconsciously come to you. The logical side of the brain works very well and it will help them. Encourage them to trust themselves to get both halves of their brain working together coming into full harmony with their unconscious. Perhaps they’re not giving themselves enough credit that they can figure this out, and on their own during reprocessing.
They can do this, and you can help them. Remind yourself as the therapist not to try to make anything happen either. We tell our clients to notice so make sure you are simply noticing too. Your effort is not directly correlated to your client’s progress. You don’t have to come up with all sorts of interweaves, or exhaust yourself trying to figure out this puzzle for them. We have to allow our clients the safe space to figure things out in their own time. We have the bird’s eye view most of the time. We can see and understand the context. Sometimes we don’t, but we keep exploring. We’re curious. Trust yourself. Trust your client. Trust the process.
