1.The client needs to feel comfortable with the possibility of experiencing high levels of vulnerability.
I used to say EMDR therapy is not for the faint at heart because it asks clients to approach memories, emotions, and beliefs they may have spent years avoiding in order to survive. This level of vulnerability cannot be forced. However, a therapist can build rapport for the client to feel emotionally safe enough to risk opening doors that were once closed for good reason. When you have strong rapport with your client it lets them know that they are not in this alone. When that trust is present, vulnerability becomes tolerable—and sometimes even relieving—rather than retraumatizing.
2. The client needs to feel comfortable with the possibility of experiencing any lack of control.
Trauma frequently involves experiences of powerlessness. During EMDR processing, clients may notice moments where thoughts, emotions, or images move in unexpected ways. Clients frequently have an experience when participating in EMDR therapy. A therapist can help clients trust that they are in the driver’s seat: they can pause or stop at any time. The therapist pauses and queries, “What are you noticing?” This helps the therapist assess any signs of overwhelm and can help if need be. Building rapport also helps clients to know that the loss of control does not equal danger. With a strong rapport these moments can trigger healing.
3. The client needs to feel comfortable with the possibility of experiencing any physical sensations from the event that may be built-in the target memory.
Trauma is not stored only as memory—it is also held in the body. EMDR processing can activate physical sensations such as tightness, heaviness, temperature changes, or movement impulses connected to the target memory. A strong therapeutic rapport can help clients trust their therapist to understand somatic responses, not pathologize bodily reactions, and help clients feel grounded while the sensation pass. Rapport helps create safety so the client can notice and tolerate these sensation rather than suppressing them.
4. The client needs to feel comfortable to tell the truth about what they are experiencing.
EMDR relies on honest reporting of what is actually happening internally—not what feels “correct,” “normal,” or “expected.” This includes confusing thoughts, intrusive images, emotional numbing, or the sense that “nothing is happening.” When rapport is strong, clients feel free to say: “I feel stuck.” “I’m disconnected.” “This feels strange.” “I don’t know what I’m feeling.” Honesty is essential for effective reprocessing.
5. The client needs to feel comfortable to experience whatever they need to in front of the therapist (such as abreactions, or high levels of emotion).
At times, EMDR processing can bring up strong emotional responses, including crying, shaking, anger, or other forms of emotional release. These reactions—sometimes referred to as abreactions—are not signs of failure. They are signs that the nervous system is releasing stored material. This is what healing looks like sometimes. Rapport reassures clients that emotional expression is allowed, they are not “too much,” and that their therapist can hold a safe space for them. This acceptance creates moments of integration.
